I don't have a photo for today - but I'm posting anyways. I'm feeling verry verry overwhelmed today. I'm feeling overwhelmed with balancing school and work. I'm feeling overwhelmed with balancing a budget. I'm feeling overwhelmed with singleness. I've got a lot going on, and a lot I'm trying to figure out. I sorta feel like I've gotton myself in too deep, because I stopped having proper faith. And I mean, this goes back a long ways from now. Back to 2008 when I decided I'd keep going to school to get a full-time degree... I mean, I'm excited about the posibility of being a social worker - don't get me wrong. But I hate school. And I don't want to be a full time working mom. period. I just don't. I want to be a wife and mother who works along side my husband and can put all my energy into serving God, my family, and my ministry. There is only one thing in my life right now that I'm sure of - I'm sure and so thrilled to be working with my students. That is the one place that I know I am fully called to and that I look forward to so much. I know that my work in the youth group is exactly and wonderfully what I'm supposed to be doing. And it's because of this that when it comes to relationships there are a few standards or expectations or whatever you want to call them that I refuse to settle on. And lately, I feel like just about everybody feels that my desires for a this kind of man are unrealistic. But they aren't! They just aren't! I mean, if these are the things that God has laid on my heart so much for such a long time, why on earth would He then ask me to settle for something less or different? I've asked God for 4 things. That's it really. Just the 4.
1) They love God and desire Him above all else.
2) They be a strong, Godly spiritual leader, loving me as Christ loves the church.
3) That they have a heart and desire to minister and serve teenage students to impact the Kingdom for Him.
4) That they be tall enough/confident enough to fit into my tall, semi-competitive family.
That's it. Those are the things I want in my future husband. And I refuse to settle on them. I mean - seriously. These are the things that are on my heart, and they aren't unrealistic. God has made me exactly like I am for a purpose, and therefore, if He's got it in the plan for me to be married, He's made somebody who will meet those things.
uhh. ok I'm done ranting now.
Alli,
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with having a standard list that you pray about with God. I prayed for 18 months about a house and listed 6 specific things that I wanted in the house and everytime we looked at a house, and it didn't have those 6 things, I had to say no...because I believed that God would reward my faith and show me my house...you know what, He did and gave me all 6 things I prayed about and I didn't even get to see that house before we bought it! He tells us he wants to hear our requests and that He will answer according to His will...look at John 15:14-15. See me love, it is all about our faith and that is all He is asking us to have in Him. He smiles at us when we ask big and He's sad when we don't ask at all. Don't be like the man in the book of James that asks and then he tosses to and fro like a wave in his faith. Keep your big faith and trust the amazing God! It doesn't hurt to ask and believe knowing that God will give you the best! I love your amazing faith!
Never ever settle. Ever.
ReplyDelete(BTW: Your blog is gorgeous...where did you get the layout/background, etc?)
I don't plan on settling. Ever. That would just be buying into the thought that my God is too small.
ReplyDeleteAnd Thanks :) I did it using the design button up in the top right corner of my blog. The layout was one I chose from them and the main picture up top is one that I took about two summers ago :)